Useful Tips

Should I forgive a guy for treason?


If you think that cheating is the worst thing that can happen in a couple, then you are mistaken.

There are terrible things that men do in relationships that can destroy everything. And this is not about treason at all.

These actions are worse than betrayal, and a woman simply has no right to forgive them to her man.

What can not be forgiven a man

1. When he is chatting or chatting with other women behind your back, then he denies his guilt when you expose him

This behavior borders on deceit and treason. Flirting is a mild betrayal.

And if your man succumbs to provocations, responding to messages from other girls, this can slowly destroy the "perfect" relationship.

If a man is in a serious relationship, there is no need to correspond and flirt with other women behind your back.

2. When he does not respect your work / career / hobby

If your man makes jokes or unpleasant comments, hinting that your work or hobbies do not really matter, this is a bad sign.

Not respecting your interests, he is disrespectful to you. He just does not take you seriously.

It also means that your man sees in you a person who is unable to take care of himself, and he will definitely not become for you someone with whom you can talk about your problems and discuss troubles.

3. When he accuses you of his defeats and failures

He is an adult, and no one is to blame for his failures, except himself.

If a man breaks down on you and accuses him of his mistakes, this means that he is absolutely not a mature person and shifts the responsibility for the committed acts to someone else.

Such things cannot be forgiven.

4. When he is disrespectful and rude to your family members or your friends / girlfriends

Obviously, he did not learn one of the most important lessons in life, which says: the path to the heart of a loved one lies through her family!

So you need to learn how to get along with your beloved family.

If he did not, you will feel tension throughout your life together. Joint dinners, going to a restaurant and other events will turn into a torment.

5. When he shares your candid pictures with friends or acquaintances

A person does not respect you and does not appreciate if he allows himself such a thing. Your intimate photos are something that should only remain between the two of you.

And if it was his privilege to see you in photographs naked, this does not mean at all that someone outsider can see you in this form.

That which cannot be forgiven

6. When it encourages you to do what you do not like

He does not see or understand the very features and boundaries that should not be crossed.

If he does not respect your desires, forcing you to do what you do not want, run away from such a man.

7. When he uses you for his own purposes

You are two equal members in your relationship.

Remember: you are not his personal ATM, you are not his driver and you should not babysit with him, as with a child.

He is an adult and is quite capable of coping with his own problems. Supporting a loved one is one thing. But, when you feel that he is openly using you for his selfish purposes, run away from him.

What is worse than treason

8. When it hurts you, another person, a defenseless animal, a child, etc.

If a man raises a hand at you, or hurts someone else, this is a serious reason to sound the alarm.

If you saw that he kicked a defenseless animal in the street or threw a stone at him for no reason, it means that he is a cruel person. Thus, he wins back on the weak, on those who cannot answer him.

A man who is unusual for repentance is not worth your love. Get away from this before it’s too late, and even better, to initially avoid relationships with such a person.

Remember, if a person is able to cause physical pain to the weak, at any time he can also fall on you or your children.

9. When he is abusing alcohol or other illicit drugs

If a person has problems with abuse of alcoholic or psychotropic substances, and he is not going to deal with this addiction, leave your attempts to help him.

Remember: you are not the mother of Teresa, and if he himself does not understand that he is destroying his life, you are not obliged to do the same with your own.

10. When he lies to you even in small things

Men usually lie to avoid punishment. However, if he often lies to you, even in minor details and without reason, then what can be said about more serious things?

11. When it does not reckon with your personal space

If a man controls your calls, delves into the history of correspondence with girlfriends, this means that he does not trust you.

Sometimes distrust goes beyond what is permitted and takes on a paranoid character.


12. When he yells at you and publicly humiliates you

You should never humiliate one another even in private. And if he humiliates you preludely, raises his voice or makes sharp and unpleasant jokes in your direction, then this is doubly unpleasant.

Do not forgive your partner for insulting or humiliating yourself in private or in public.

13. When he compares you to his ex

A woman should not care how many girls her man had before her. That was all before, period!

But if your man constantly compares you with his ex, constantly reminding you of them, this is a huge disrespect on his part.

No woman will enjoy the constant competition, even when it comes to ex-lovers.

Therefore, there is no need for him to compare you with one of his exes.

14. When he does not pay attention to your problems or underestimates things that bother you

If he is not able to help you solve the problems that concern you, or reassure you with advice, take care of you, then he will not be able to become that reliable support in life that all women dream of.

And when difficult times come, you will have to deal with the problems yourself.

15. When you are not particularly important to him

When a person loves someone, it is normal to put a loved one above everything and everyone.

You must be a priority with your partner. If you are on his tenth roles, after hobbies, friends and parties, this means that he does not value you.

You should not be jealous of a man for work, but if it is not about making money, but about less significant things, this is an occasion to think about whether you need a relationship in which you are not appreciated.

16. When he constantly reminds you of the past

If there were negative moments in your past and you shared them with your lover, this is not a reason to remind you of this at every convenient and inconvenient occasion.

A man does not color if he negatively reminds you of moments that you would like to forget.

Thus, it makes you painful and unpleasant, which means that he simply does not respect your feelings and desires.

You need to be able to concentrate only on the present and on the joint future. Leave the past in the past, and if something happened before, it happened before you even started dating.

17. When he does not support you

Being next to a man, a woman should feel support and support.

If you feel bad, it should not make you feel even worse. It should be a reliable and stone wall, and not those who will finish off morally.

If your man makes you feel worse, it is possible he is manipulating you. So it’s easier for him to control the situation and subjugate you to himself.

18. When he does not show you that he loves and appreciates you

If your man does not show you that he loves and appreciates you, then why are you together at all?

He may not express his love with words, but his actions must speak for themselves. If this does not happen, then there is no point in wasting time on a person who does not deserve it.

Unfortunately, as soon as the stage of the candy-bouquet period or the honeymoon comes to an end, the newlyweds become just two ordinary people who face a number of problems.

These ups and downs must be overcome together.

It is important to be able to compromise and forgive each other. But there are things that, indeed, cannot and should not be forgiven to a man.

Is it possible to forgive the betrayal of a loved one?

Before we begin to analyze whether to forgive a betrayal of a guy or not to forgive, we will consider whether it is possible to forget the misconduct and continue to live happily, it is not only about guys, but also about girls. Agree that not every person is capable of betrayal of this kind due to the fact that intimacy is the highest degree of manifestation of feelings. Treason is a partial spiritual detachment from a loved one along with attachment to a third party. In fact, it does not matter if you forgive your beloved, it is important what you will experience in the future, whether you will experience moral and psychological discomfort or begin to make plans with a traitor.

Most girls decide to part, because they understand that age is a valuable factor that will help you find a lover by the means of appearance and he will quickly exhaust himself (from 26 to 35 years old). This is the right position, which is held by 70% of beauties, however, leads to some consequences, since men "in price" remain up to 45-50 years, therefore, it is not only in appearance, read: Why do guys cheat? Causes.

Consequences of winning guys' love with external qualities:

  • Uncertainty in you (surveillance, viewing mail, a list of calls and SMS messages on the phone, monitoring actions and places of your stay),
  • Treason (they often change beautiful ones because they rarely entice the spiritual and everyday component of a couple),
  • Conflicts based on jealousy (every man with whom you talk, say hello, cross each other, in the head of a guy will be a potential conqueror of your heart),
  • Disrespect for the parents of a lover (too painted girls do not cause interest in the generation of the 90s until you prove your mental viability),
  • Use (cases of one-time bed acts can haunt beauties who have chosen the wrong position when searching for them; we know many scenarios when women searched for potential husbands in bars and clubs, however, the meetings ended with the words “I'll call you back” and did not continue).

If you decide to forgive the faithful, make sure that such a story was only once and will not happen again. It will be sad to know that he cheated on you, for example, 2 months every day in a row, when you know about only one incident.

Also on the decision, is it worth forgiving a cheating guy, often influenced by the understanding of their involvement or guilt in what happened. Among the reasons, girls are more often distinguished as follows:

  • They parted, but reconciled in a week (the key feeling here is “Love”, those who love will always reconcile and will not look to the left, even in case of loneliness, a week is not an indicator),
  • She cheated on him (vengeance of this kind is impractical, here the partnership will cease in any case),
  • Relations became dull, allowed him to try something new (if they bothered him in 1-2 years, what will happen when the family and the child appear?),
  • Relationships on a pause (it is necessary for those who are not able to understand whether this object of love is needed or not, during a pause, both feel freedom, not suffering).

As you can see, your involvement is a fallacy. Would a guy who truly loves his girlfriend begin to cheat (see. A guy loves, but cheats.)? No!

Forgive cheating guy? Psychologist's advice.

So, to finally make sure that it is possible to forgive a betrayal of a guy, you need to look into reality and answer the following questions:

  • What connects you? (if there is no stamp in the passport, child and jointly acquired property, maintaining the union is not necessary),
  • What could you not do without him? (if he did not behave like a man, never helped and you can do any business yourself, you do not need him),
  • Are there many factors annoying you in his behavior? (if understanding comes that it is impossible to build a family with him, why do you need it?),
  • Do you feel spiritual, moral, emotional satisfaction being around? (misunderstanding, pseudo-guarantees, lack of support, bias will kill the union)
  • What do you feel: love or thirst to be loved? (if you want the guy to truly appreciate, love, then it's too late to think about it, if you love yourself, learn to respect yourself).

If you want to forgive, this material will help: How to forgive a guy for treason?

Trifling disagreements

With them, just the relationship and begin to go down the slope. Everyone is trying to "pull the blanket over himself", considers himself right and does not want to listen to his opponent in any way.

Compromise? And what is it? Why on earth should I listen to nonsense if a man is a priori wrong!

Each of the partners is to blame for the quarrels. It’s just that one of the wise men came up with the idea that “girls must yield”, that’s why the beautiful half of humanity is blowing lips, waiting for an apology. And, of course, almost every man, like a knight, admits his guilt and goes to ask for forgiveness.

How, then, to accept an apology from a man? The main advice: do not make an elephant out of a fly if the quarrel is not worth it. If a man really offended you and apologizes for it, then rejoice - there are few such guys. Squeezing out the word “sorry” is very difficult, especially for a man with ambition.

She blew a little sponge, set her cheek for a kiss and forget it. No games of silence and new arguments that you are right - do not aggravate. But by the way, here's a useful article for you on this subject: Quarrels in the family and their causes. In it you will learn how to get around the “sharp corners” in case of minor disagreements.

If a man has a habit of offending you

This is not about simple petty quarrels, but about the man himself - dishonest and rude, whom you still love. The words "tact" and "politeness" are unfamiliar to him; he may offend you in public with his stupid joke and will not even think about how unpleasant you are.

Your goal is not to lose dignity among others and understand the strange logic of this person.

How can his rudeness and ignorance manifest itself:

He calls you always and everywhere. In quarrels, in reconciliations, in everyday life. He even stuck a nickname for you offensively.

His tactlessness knows no bounds. He can tell your intimate secrets at guests at the table, even if the guests themselves are embarrassed.

He does not control himself in actions. Pushing, shoving, yelling at you - this is for him in the order of things.

Do not think that such a man will apologize after each of his inappropriate behavior. He would rather translate everything as a joke than he would realize that it offended you. Therefore, if he is truly a loved one for you, then you need to literally learn to forgive him with your ignore.

As for the insulting nicknames, explain to him approximately in this format:

Come on, dear, now it will be so that no offense: since you are my husband, then nicknames in half. If I am a "goat torn", then you are a "goat torn". I am a sheep, you are a ram, I am a chicken, you are a rooster! Is it logical after all?

In general, many women take this nonsense of their spouse easily. But such women are most often on par with a man. Shocks and insults are also accepted as an attribute of everyday days. They do not require an apology, just a woman does not pay attention to them and perceives her husband as he is. Yes, and in which case, in response, it can charge a frying pan over the head.

And if the guests are at the table? Yes, let them get used to it! Like in a joke:

If mom laughs at dad’s jokes, then guests are at home!

But not all women have it. If this is extremely unpleasant for you, then you need to stop such uncouthness from the first days, or run away from such a boor. The article What can’t forgive a man about this is vividly written.

How to forgive an ex-boyfriend

In addition to minor quarrels, there are more serious things. You loved a man, did not restrain him and lost him. And the initiator was not you, but he. And by all means you need to forget him, even though you can’t forgive immediately.

If he left you, then at first you will not be up to digging yourself. You will hate him fiercely, even though you will also be “sharpened” by painful love. You will be at a crossroads, thinking what to do:

  • not appear more in his life,
  • try to return it with prayers,
  • morally poison his filthy life.

But no matter what you do, everything goes down the drain:

Contrary to your reason, you are trying to be where he can appear: on his page in social networks, in the company of friends. He still feels your presence.

Your tears and pleas do not lead to anything. He is cold and indifferent to you without any passionate showdown. He is already a stranger.

Your attempts to make him some muck are ridiculous to him. If they are not really dangerous for his life and property, then he did not care about your threats.

But time passes, and you begin your internal “debriefing” - what was wrong with your relationship ?! And girlfriends are trying to tactfully explain to you where you went too far. Perhaps the relationship that you had with your beloved guy will serve you as a good lesson in the future.

But there remains one more task: how to forgive the man who left him? He must also have been far from an angel. But, having left you, he does not experience any torment of conscience and does not ask you for an apology for a broken heart, which means that he does not need forgiveness.

Ты можешь простить его чисто для себя. Но для начала надо порвать с парнем любую связь и заново влюбиться. Именно это обстоятельство поможет тебе забыть мужчину и отпустить его из своего сердца. Полное равнодушие к бывшему мужчине — вот это и будет твоим прощением.

Как простить мужа после ухода из семьи

А вот эта задача еще сложнее. After all, you were connected by something more than just meetings and partings: you divided your life together, food and bed. Yes, and most likely the tiny “results” of your love on this bed are growing up: children.

But he left. And even in spite of your big quarrel at parting, he still feels guilty. Even if somewhere deep in the soul. He abandoned his family - his wife, who became the mother and innocent children who suffer. Although there was no strength left to live in this family.

If the husband really has a conscience and love for the children, then he will look for a meeting with them. Of course, you can fix obstacles for him and persuade children, but you will only destroy the psyche of the child, and that’s it.

It takes time to forgive the husband and let him go. Think about how many people converge and part, and then create new families, and nothing bad happens. It is much better even for the children themselves, apart from adults, to live in a calm environment than in eternal abuse.

Only after some time you will begin to understand how it would be wrong to keep the family in dislike. No need to live together supposedly "for children" - this is an excuse for women who are afraid of loneliness. You can look at the past, as if from the outside: what was right and what was not.

There is no guarantee that you can completely forgive your husband. Hatred is still a feeling that is not always friendly with the mind. It is possible that you will hold a grudge against him all your life, despite the efforts of psychologists. But do not be selfish - if you have been offended, this does not mean that children will suffer with you.

Forgiveness in your heart will come when you are no longer used to representing him as master in your home. When you don’t want to share a bed with him, food and your life. He will no longer be unpleasant or hateful to you, he will simply be a stranger, like a passerby on the street. Then it will become easy for you.

But keep in mind that sometimes leaving the family is not the final point. The husband may be asked back home with a plea to forgive him. If everything in your soul has not yet burned out, can you do so? And how exactly - you will find out in the article How to restore relations with a loved one.

Finally - an unusual technique

Let's do a thought experiment.

Imagine that you have the super power to “read” men. Like Sherlock Holmes: looked at a man - and you immediately know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You would hardly read this article now in search of a solution to your problem - you would have no problems in your relationship at all.

And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you won’t read other people's thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.

We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a candidate of psychological sciences, and her methodology has helped many girls feel loved and receive gifts, attention and care.

If interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for visitors to our site.