According to the directors of Moscow schools, they tried marijuana at least once:
11% of boys and 12% of girls aged 14-15, 23% of boys and 20% of girls 16-17 years old, 57% of boys and 22% of girls 18 years old. Of these, they smoke continuously: 2% 14–15 years old, 9% 16–17 years old.
Czech Republic - 42%, Great Britain - 39%, Spain - 37%, Italy - 28%, Estonia - 23%, Poland - 19%, Latvia - 16%, Lithuania - 13%, Finland - 11%, Sweden - 8%, Cyprus - 5%.
According to the European school survey project on alcohol and other drugs (ESPAD) for 2005.
Recently, your child has changed a lot: he seems indifferent to everything, detached or, on the contrary, excited for no reason, has become worse at school, skips classes. He is no longer interested in sports, communication is limited to a narrow circle of friends. Without making hasty conclusions (these changes can be caused by a variety of reasons, including emotional or psychological overload and even depression), it’s worthwhile to think about the possibility that he is trying drugs.
Savely, 13 years old, smokes constantly
“The first time I tried anasha six months ago with my brother, who is already 18. But he does not realize that I continue to smoke - two to three times a week, with friends. Anasha is cool. On the "ha ha" breaks specifically. We relax in the full program and score for teachers, cops, for everyone. Parents, of course, do not know. If they knew, they would have killed me. ”
Talk to him…
Talking about it means avoiding the understatement that always hurts relationships. Be honest - say that you are worried, and directly admit: “I think you smoke“ grass ”. No matter how the child reacts to your words, do not blame him, do not reproach, do not appeal to conscience and, of course, do not threaten. Use the arguments: talk about what marijuana is and what smoking specifically threatens him with, tell us about the characteristics of the psyche of adolescents and their predisposition to various addictions. The Internet is full of information: try to visit specialized sites together, discuss the information that you will find there. In areas of interest to them, adolescents are quite competent - sometimes they know much more than we are used to thinking, so prepare for a conversation in advance. But take your time, excessive haste and perseverance will prevent him from hearing you.
Sophia, 17 years old, smokes from time to time
"A school friend invited me to visit:" There will be friends, "grass", come and have a smoke. " And I went, thinking that in life everything needs to be tried. Since then, for about three years now I have been smoking a “kosyachok” for martini on holidays - just to cheer up. At such moments, I feel easy and carefree. Of course, someday, when I have children, I will give up. In the meantime, this does not bother me at all, I even like it ... "
It is important that both father and mother participate in the first conversation, even if they do not live together. The teenager will unmistakably decipher this signal: if, in order to find a way out of a difficult situation, both of his parents forgot about their internal contradictions and united, then they really love him and are seriously worried about his well-being. Sometimes a conversation should be warned in advance: "We would like to talk in the evening, after dinner." Thus, you once again emphasize the exclusivity of the upcoming conversation.
You smoke or smoke "grass" yourself.
He / she does not know about it
Most likely it will be psychologically difficult for you to create a rigid system of restrictions for your son or daughter: you don’t feel entitled to forbid the child from doing what he once did. However, do not directly compare his experience with his own. You probably first tried it late enough - about twenty years, when the effect of marijuana on the body is less traumatic than in adolescence. Moreover, then they smoked a weak and relatively harmless “northern” anasha, now teenagers have access to a much more “effective” and, therefore, dangerous Dutch “grass”. In any case, do not compare it with yourself, do not think that you are to blame for the fact that your child smokes drugs. However, no one forces you to tell him that you yourself have tried marijuana.
He / she knows about it
Try not to touch drugs as long as possible. Show your teenager how important it is to be able to control yourself. Avoid moralizing phrases like: “Don't take an example from me!”, They will only complicate your communication.
You keep smoking. In such a situation, it is difficult to prevent a teenager from doing the same. Admit that you can’t quit smoking because of the addiction that you consider your misfortune, and you would not want this to happen to him.
Do not make mistakes - never smoke with your child: you will not stop him from using drugs. On the contrary, having secured your support, in your absence a teenager will begin to smoke and "come off" much "cooler" than when you are together.
*ELENA CROWN - CHILDREN'S PSYCHIATRIC, PSYCHOTHERAPIST, AUTHOR OF SEVERAL BOOKS, AMONG THEM "UNHAPPY CHILDREN - DIFFICULT PARENTS" (FAMILY AND SCHOOL, 2000), "UNDERSTAND YOURSELF 2004."
Lebanon: Politician calls on authorities to legalize marijuana
OLK Peace: Walid Jumblath, a senior Lebanese politician, at the end of last week expressed his support for the legalization of hemp in the country. But he suggests legalizing the plant is not easy for.
He denies everything ...
Do not insist on anything, but be sure to remind that you are responsible for it and therefore will definitely return to this conversation. Clarify: “I will not search your room, but I want you to open me as soon as I knock.” It is very important to keep this word: “surveillance”, searches and eavesdropping will not be useful - any information obtained dishonestly will only cause new conflicts and increase the distance between you and your child. In addition, in protesting against gross interference in their personal lives, adolescents often resort to stronger drugs or conflict with the law.
If you know from someone’s words that the child is deceiving you, directly tell him about it without dramatizing or inventing details. Suppose the teacher said that she noticed a smoke with a specific smell in the school toilet and that among smokers who were there shortly before, they saw your child. Do not hide this conversation, tell your son or daughter: “I found out about you here ... and this is what I think about it ...”
It is important that a teenager believes and feels you: you act in his interests. Resume the conversation after a while. If he again does not admit to anything or refuses to speak, and the alarming symptoms persist or there will be more (sleep disturbance, poor performance, mood swings), tell him that your suspicions remain valid and you are worried about whether he got addicted to drugs. Insist on consultation with a specialist.
He admits to being cool ...
So he trusts you. Try to understand when he does it. How long has it started? How many shoals does he smoke? He says that he sometimes smokes - for company, with friends or at parties ... Do not blame him: the child will be forced to take a defensive position, which means that a constructive dialogue will not work.
You have a difficult conversation, but you can deal with it if you change the usual style of communication. Instead of the expected indictment “How could you ?!” try to transfer the conversation to your own feelings, use the “I-construction”: “I'm just in a panic. I constantly think about you and am very afraid for you. After all, I know how dangerous drugs are ... "He must know how you feel about this situation: you would prefer that he stop smoking marijuana altogether, and certainly never let it be done at home. Try to rely on his sense of responsibility in a conversation: it is important for each person when they are addressed on an equal footing.
Semen, 19 years old, does not smoke
“I don’t drink, I don’t smoke tobacco or grass, and I’m not going to do it. Thank God, everything is fine with my head. The "Narcos", apparently, have a different story - hence all their troubles. It seems to me that they cannot solve their own problems and are trying to get away from them with the help of “grass”. And if I need to switch, I go in for sports, and I'm fine. ”
He says that he smokes only occasionally, before going to bed ...
Perhaps a smoked cigarette really helps him fall asleep or just relax. Explain to your son or daughter that, in small doses, marijuana can actually be used for medical purposes as an antidepressant to relieve anxiety, but there are much safer and more effective ways to achieve the same result. If a teenager uses marijuana to overcome his emotional problems, insist on contacting a specialist - not a narcologist, but a teenage psychiatrist or psychotherapist.
Rely on his sense of responsibility, convince him that he himself can be responsible for his health, can cope with difficulties, without resorting to deceptively simple, but in fact very risky means.
What scientists say about it
- Dependence. The risk of becoming addicted to marijuana is not as high as it is commonly believed. This dependence is more psychological than physical.
- Toxicity. The content of active substances in marijuana is growing from year to year - especially in that which comes from Holland, where its selection is constantly carried out.
- Side effects. Regular use of hemp causes apathy, impaired attention and memory. In large quantities, it leads to painful conditions that can be stopped with new doses. Overdose does not lead to death.
- Complications The effect of marijuana on the brain during its formation is poorly understood.
- Transition to stronger drugs. The relationship between “hard” (heroin, cocaine) and “soft” drugs (all cannabis derivatives) has not been established. Worldwide statistics: 5–30% of smokers of marijuana switch to hard drugs. The scatter in numbers is related to the smoker’s social circle: those who interact with heroin addicts and get involved in drug sales are at maximum risk.
SOURCES: VERNON JOHNSON “HOW TO IMPOSE AN ADDICT OR ALCOHOLIC TO BE TREATED” (IOI, 2002), SERGEY BELOGOURS “POPULAR ABOUT DRUGS AND ADDICTIONS” (NEVSKY DIALECT, 2000), SMILE IS SMELL
He challenges you ...
He scatters “ships” with anasha throughout the house, lights a “pigtail” in front of your eyes - that’s how a teenager provokes you, offers to measure your strength. Do not pretend that you do not notice anything, but to exaggerate colors is also not worth it. Say openly: "I see that you smoke" grass ", and I want to talk about it." However, if the only reaction that you manage to get from your son or daughter is aggression, if any conversation about drugs turns into a quarrel and you feel that your relationship is at an impasse, family therapy can be a good way out for you.
14 years old is the average age at which a Russian teenager first tries marijuana. It is during this period that there is a very high need to distract from problems and relieve emotional stress. The fact is that adolescents at the same time experience a hormonal explosion and social pressure from all sides, often suffer from low self-esteem, lack of parental love, and feel rejected. And smoking marijuana seems to be the easiest way to physically relax, calm your nerves. For a teenager, this is an attribute of “adult life”, as well as a sign that distinguishes him and his group from other people, gives a feeling of being chosen.
Define the scope of what is permitted ...
Marijuana is especially dangerous for the health of a teenager, because the formation of his central nervous system is still ongoing, it is not fully ripe. But if family relationships are far from ideal, the path of direct and categorical prohibition is unlikely to be productive: the stricter you forbid, the more sophisticated they will hide from you.
Another extreme is dangerous: you should not allow your child to smoke drugs, justifying yourself by not knowing how to ban it — such an attitude can lead to the most serious consequences. Do not give up: talk with your child and set the boundaries of what is permitted.
Do not forget that it has grown and now your words are no longer the unconditional law that they were ten or even five years ago. Now you have to look for reasonable compromises with him, discuss current situations together and agree.
For starters, forbid him to smoke at home. If your home is not just a place where a busy dad, socially active mother, and also half-forgotten grandparents spend the night, the ban will most likely work. Do not deprive him of pocket money: turning them into a blackmail tool is inefficient and dishonest. Like any other family member, a teenager has the right to his own budget, and as long as he does not work, parents are obliged to provide this budget. The modest sums given out for everyday expenses are hardly enough for drugs, so by trimming them, you are more likely to deprive him of a sandwich in the buffet than the next “jamb”. And the necessary teenager will still get it, only in a different way.
From that evening, I got involved with drugs. I have several friends who continue to indulge in "grass." They reason as if they were 15 years old - they only think how to hang out and “blow” (smoke). They don't give a damn about studying. In fact, they remained children. I think the "grass" is stopping them from becoming adults. "
Suggest an alternative ...
Try to fill his daily life with activities worthy and safe: the only way to defeat the addiction is to literally force him out with something else. Refrain from direct bribery ("If you quit, we will buy you this and that"), but look for the opportunity to realize the dream of a son or daughter. For example, finance some of his exotic hobbies or contribute to the emergence of a new hobby. Everything is good - from climbing to mountain biking and from the Argentine tango club to Chinese courses.
And most importantly, do not spare time for communication: the more often you will see and talk, the more common things you will have (even such trifles as going to the movies or shopping together), the less chance marijuana will gain a foothold in your life a child.
How it's done
Cannabis sativa drugs are called differently - from the scientific “cannabis” to slang or borrowed from other languages words: “marijuana”, “plan”, “shmal”, “dope”, “sensimiglia”, “ganja” - all titles to hundreds. The two main groups of preparations are the dried herbaceous parts of the plant of gray-green color (“grass”) and a compressed extract similar to dark brown plasticine (“hash”).
In Russia, “grass” is sold by matchboxes (“boxing”), and the extract is sold in the form of a lump with a large pea in foil. The intoxicating effect lasts 2-6 hours. The cost of one “boxing" is about 500 rubles.
The use, purchase, possession of drugs without a marketing purpose is considered an administrative violation in Russia if a person has found no more than 5 g of “grass” or 1 g of extract. Punishment - a fine of 500-1500 rubles or arrest for 15 days. At high doses - criminal liability and punishment for up to 10 years in prison.
Different views on the drug problem - from legal to cultural. List of addresses in different cities of Russia where you can turn for advice or rehabilitation support.
Detailed information about the psychology of a teenager and his parents, about the mechanisms of addictions and methods of their treatment. The site published tests, as well as programs and training addresses that will help to cope with the situation.
ALEXEY EGOROV “AGE DRUG DRUG” Didactic-PLUS, 2002.
NATALIA ORPHANUS AND DR. “PREVENTION OF ADDICTION IN ADOLESCENTS: FROM THEORY TO PRACTICE” GENESIS, 2004.
CAROL FALKOVSKY "DANGEROUS DRUGS" IOI, 2002.
Lizyaev Peter Yurievich
Of course he is offended by you - at least for the fact that you "wrote him down as" drug addicts "."
Yes, this substance certainly belongs to those prohibited for use in Russia (although it is allowed in many other countries), and telling your son a “drug addict” is about the same as calling a “drug addict” a person who smokes tobacco or drinks beer — these are all psychoactive substances .
Let your son “be what he is” - but warn him not to let God get caught - this unfortunately can lead to really sad consequences.
I hope that if you change, soften your attitude, then everything will work out!
Pyotr Yurievich Lizyaev, psychologist and psychotherapist
Full-time consultations / psychotherapy in Moscow - individually and in a group, as well as via Skype.
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Vasilevskaya Lyudmila Sergeevna
Psychologist Cairns Was online: April 28
Answers on the site: 971 Trainings: 0 Publications: 6
understand your concern. The son drifted away, and even smoked marijuana.
Давайте начнем с того, что марихуана, к счастью, считается легким наркотиком и не вызывает такой сильной и резкой зависимости от нее, как другие наркотики. Думаю, именно поэтому ваш сын и отмахивается от вас. Плюс он приводил вам доводы, с которыми вы соглашались.
Об опасностях курения этой травы вы ему говорили, он все знает, но продолжает курить. Это вызывает отторжение в вас, вы не можете принять сына таким, каким он стал.
Я вас очень понимаю, Елена. Просто и легко любить сына, с которым есть эмоциональная близость. But to love and maintain a relationship with a son who has distanced himself, leads such a dangerous way of life - this is a completely different matter.
You would like to return a close relationship with your son. This is difficult because drugs change a person’s personality. Change his values and beliefs. A son can change and never become the way you knew him. Those. you will have another son. And it is still unknown whether your personal attitude towards him will change.
You are now experiencing a longing for "that" son. And it’s very difficult for you.
If it’s important for you not to lose your relationship with your son, try to understand that, unfortunately, people professing other values have come in his way, and now he cannot hear you. What will happen to him is unknown. But if you read him notations, reproach him, etc., then he will move away even more. You can continue to express your concern, talk about how what he does reflects on you, but do not give him ultimatums, do not humiliate and insult him and his friends, no matter how they deserve it. Give examples, ask different questions that will make him think that he will lose, going down this path further, etc. Look at the level of his friends, whether they are people who have achieved something in life, show it to their son. Let him think. Try to captivate him with something, maybe.
You can get rid of this addiction, but only your son will need to do this. He must get to the point where he will either get tired of this activity, or when it begins to cause him considerable inconvenience. Sorry, Elena, I would like to tell you more encouraging things, but drugs are rubbish that the enemy will not want and you may have difficult times ahead. It is very painful for mothers to look at such changes in their children, what can I say.
Perhaps he will play this toy for some time and throw it away, this also cannot be ruled out.
If you need support, please contact. Such situations are familiar to me.
All the best,
L.S. Vasilevskaya, psychologist-consultant, work on Skype